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The Onion
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Weeping GuyWeeping GuyVideo Of Man Weeping Becomes Viral Hit | Full Report: http://onion.com/10Ppg9e Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Face...
Web Series Reaches 100 ViewsWeb Series Reaches 100 ViewsWatch more YouTube Comedy Week videos at http://yt.be/comedyweek A comedic webisode about two roommates became a viral sensation this week after reaching the...
Could Plastic Surgery Be Your Ticket To Employment? - Dr. Good - Ep. 2Could Plastic Surgery Be Your Ticket To Employment? - Dr. Good - Ep. 2Watch more YouTube Comedy Week videos at http://yt.be/comedyweek Does being attractive help you get a job? Hell yes! Dr. Good's resident plastic surgeon Dr. ...
The Best Of Today Now!: Fresh Roasted Cup Of NewsThe Best Of Today Now!: Fresh Roasted Cup Of NewsWatch more YouTube Comedy Week videos at http://yt.be/comedyweek The best of the Onion News Network's morning show, including stories like New Anti-Smoking A...
Tim Allen, Mark Wahlberg, And Tara Reid Spotted At Cafe Discussing Oh God What Are They Planning?Tim Allen, Mark Wahlberg, And Tara Reid Spotted At Cafe Discussing Oh God What Are They Planning?Watch more YouTube Comedy Week videos at http://yt.be/comedyweek The trio spent hours talking, prompting Hollywood to worry that they could be working on a p...
Your Insides Look Like Smashed Tomatoes - Dr. Good - Ep. 1Your Insides Look Like Smashed Tomatoes - Dr. Good - Ep. 1Watch more YouTube Comedy Week videos at http://yt.be/comedyweek Dr. Good and his team take an exclusive look inside the human body using nothing more than s...
David Fincher To Helm YouTubes First Hour-Long Drama Series Turtle Has Sex With ShoesDavid Fincher To Helm YouTubes First Hour-Long Drama Series Turtle Has Sex With ShoesWatch more YouTube Comedy Week videos at http://yt.be/comedyweek YouTube is the latest site to jump into the original programming arena with the announcement...
Man Says Fuck It, Eats Lunch At 10:58 A.M.Man Says Fuck It, Eats Lunch At 10:58 A.M.For More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Reasoning that he's a grown adult who can eat food whenever he damn well pleases, local man Kyle Dunedi...
There Are People In World Who Are Concerned About Current State Of Hip-HopThere Are People In World Who Are Concerned About Current State Of Hip-HopFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video A report published Friday by a team of sociologists has confirmed there are apparently people living in...
The Onions Future News From The Year 2137The Onions Future News From The Year 2137Watch more YouTube Comedy Week videos at http://yt.be/comedyweek While other media outlets bring you news as it happens, only the Onion News Network has the ...
Cutest Guy In Whole Office Not Even Particularly AttractiveCutest Guy In Whole Office Not Even Particularly AttractiveFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video After over seven years of weekly meetings with his psychiatrist, 35-year-old Chris Vaughan told reporte...
Brad Pitt Decides To Grow Out Forehead HairBrad Pitt Decides To Grow Out Forehead HairFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Leading social media site HarvardConnection is now valued at $400 billion, a couple is making out like ...
Excited Man Only Two Therapy Sessions Away From Resolving IssuesExcited Man Only Two Therapy Sessions Away From Resolving IssuesFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video After over seven years of weekly meetings with his psychiatrist, 35-year-old Chris Vaughan told reporte...
Couple Making Out At Bus Stop Like Its Fucking ParisCouple Making Out At Bus Stop Like Its Fucking ParisFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video According to locals waiting for the westbound number 66 shuttle at Chicago Avenue and Racine Avenue, a ...
Report: Saxophone Still An Okay Vehicle For Self-ExpressionReport: Saxophone Still An Okay Vehicle For Self-ExpressionFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video While declaring that the musical instrument was by no means ideally suited to the task, a report releas...
VIRAL VIDEO: High School Sophomore Sinks Incredible, Unnecessary Half-Court ShotVIRAL VIDEO: High School Sophomore Sinks Incredible, Unnecessary Half-Court ShotFor More Today Now: http://onion.com/11SqwuB Ryan Jurgens rode the bench most of the season, but when his coach gave him a chance, it really paid off! Subscr...
Businessman Does His Work Lying On Bed Like SchoolgirlBusinessman Does His Work Lying On Bed Like SchoolgirlFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video An aquarium unveils its new 'Floating Carcasses of the Pacific' exhibit, a guy with 10000 tweets and 1...
Ashamed Student Affairs Committee Reveals There Arent Any Awesome Events This WeekendAshamed Student Affairs Committee Reveals There Arent Any Awesome Events This WeekendFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Expressing shame and remorse in an email to the students of Hamilton College on Friday, disgraced stude...
Guy With 10,000 Tweets, 15 Followers About Ready To Hang It UpGuy With 10,000 Tweets, 15 Followers About Ready To Hang It UpFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Saying that he's probably done all he could possibly do at this point, Twitter user Aaron Gartner confi...
Jessica Simpson Goes On Nationwide Book Tour To Promote The Novel She ReadJessica Simpson Goes On Nationwide Book Tour To Promote The Novel She ReadFor Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video The pregnant starlet has finished reading her long-awaited first book and is currently traveling the country...
Physicists Confirm They Have Found And Killed The God ParticlePhysicists Confirm They Have Found And Killed The God ParticleFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video CERN researchers confirm that they have finally identified the elusive Higgs Boson particle and destroy...
Onion News Empire Official TrailerOnion News Empire Official TrailerWatch Onion News Empire, Episode 1 now: http://amzn.to/11KlVvn.
How One Hot New Device Helps Couples Drag Out Their Doomed Relationship That Extra Month Or TwoHow One Hot New Device Helps Couples Drag Out Their Doomed Relationship That Extra Month Or TwoFor A Brand New Episode Of Today Now: http://onion.com/12q6IAO The amazing new "Relationship Pro" video game controller lets both members of a couple pretend...
Area Woman Thinks All Of Her Friends Should Be ComediansArea Woman Thinks All Of Her Friends Should Be ComediansFor More More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video According to statements made this week by office manager Caitlin Mooney, 26, her friends are all s...
Man With Strong Brand Loyalty Willing To Kill For MazdaMan With Strong Brand Loyalty Willing To Kill For MazdaFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video In a stern warning aimed at critics of Mazdas everywhere, area man Matthew Hunker, a longtime Mazda dri...
Popular Childrens Book Author Reveals The Spooky Truth About Creepy Conspiracy TheoriesPopular Childrens Book Author Reveals The Spooky Truth About Creepy Conspiracy TheoriesFor A Brand New Episode Of Today Now: http://onion.com/ZPmTSZ The bestselling author of "The Spooky Truth" series wants to teach kids that pulling back the c...
Ten Years Later, Cheney Haunted By People He Didnt Manage To Kill In Iraq WarTen Years Later, Cheney Haunted By People He Didnt Manage To Kill In Iraq WarFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video In a rare, candid interview, former Vice President Dick Cheney admitted he regrets that he couldn't pro...
Authorities On Alert As Hundreds Of Crazed Sociopaths Enter Congressional ChambersAuthorities On Alert As Hundreds Of Crazed Sociopaths Enter Congressional ChambersFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Federal, state, and local law enforcement officials are reportedly on high alert today after a group of...
Proud Time To Be A Cowering Sack Of Shit As Democrats Back Off Assault Weapons BanProud Time To Be A Cowering Sack Of Shit As Democrats Back Off Assault Weapons BanFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/t...
Paul Ryans Unsettling Budget Plan Reveals He Cuts His Own HairPaul Ryans Unsettling Budget Plan Reveals He Cuts His Own HairFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Congressman Ryan is defending his extreme budget plan, which includes proposals that Americans make the...
Cardinals Elect New Crisis Management DirectorCardinals Elect New Crisis Management DirectorFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video The word 'innovate' is said over 24 million times at SXSW, NASA designers release a flirty new spaceski...
Finance Expert Saves Struggling Zoo By Firing All Employees, Getting Rid Of CagesFinance Expert Saves Struggling Zoo By Firing All Employees, Getting Rid Of CagesFor A Brand New Episode Of Today Now: http://onion.com/Y0nwto On Today NOW!, the savvy businessman who turned a zoo on the verge of bankruptcy into a money-m...
Company Immediately Calls Job Applicant Upon Seeing B.A. In Communications On RésuméCompany Immediately Calls Job Applicant Upon Seeing B.A. In Communications On RésuméFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Calling his résumé "exceptional" and "like nothing we've ever seen," the human resources department at ...
Today NOW! Hosts Shake 7UP TEN Cans, Guarantee Explosive New EpisodeToday NOW! Hosts Shake 7UP TEN Cans, Guarantee Explosive New EpisodeFor The Latest Today NOW!: http://onion.com/Yi52YW Watch an all new episode of Today NOW! this Thursday exclusively at theonion.com. Subscribe to The Onion o...
Pope Francis ResignsPope Francis ResignsFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video An emotional, wistful Pope Francis I made a surprise announcement today that he will be resigning from ...
James Holmes Arraignment Delayed As Court Struggles To Remember Which Mass Shooter He IsJames Holmes Arraignment Delayed As Court Struggles To Remember Which Mass Shooter He IsFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Court officials complain that it's too difficult to keep track of every massacre and that recalling one...
Nation Agrees Justin Biebers Inevitable Meltdown Could Be Interesting To WatchNation Agrees Justin Biebers Inevitable Meltdown Could Be Interesting To WatchFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Cancer topples Chavez in a bloodless coup, a poll finds that 99% of human beings would prefer big, slob...
The Gunman Tragedy: A Recap Of The Onions CoverageThe Gunman Tragedy: A Recap Of The Onions CoverageFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video When tragedy struck Kansas City today, Onion reporters were first on the scene. This is a video recap o...
Shady New Wendys Deal Offering Five Hamburgers For Free, No Questions AskedShady New Wendys Deal Offering Five Hamburgers For Free, No Questions AskedFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video The fast-food chain has rolled out a suspicious new promotion selling five hamburgers for zero dollars....
Is This Real Life Mr. Ed Just A Horse Owned By A Lunatic?Is This Real Life Mr. Ed Just A Horse Owned By A Lunatic?For A Brand New Episode Of Today Now: http://onion.com/Y0nwto Tracy spends some time on a local farm with Ray Kimball, who insists that his horse Franklin ha...
Man Not Sure Hes Dynamic Enough To Work At Local Marketing FirmMan Not Sure Hes Dynamic Enough To Work At Local Marketing FirmFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video An online listing for a job at area marketing firm BizKo Solutions has left local man Ryan Urlich unsur...
Obama Issues Presidential Pardon To Get Biden Out Of Jail For Third Time This YearObama Issues Presidential Pardon To Get Biden Out Of Jail For Third Time This YearFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video The President was forced to exercise his clemency powers to free Joe Biden last week after the Vice Pre...
Romney Blames Loss On Successfully Communicating His Message To MinoritiesRomney Blames Loss On Successfully Communicating His Message To MinoritiesFor More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video In his first televised interview since the election, Mitt Romney said his bid for the White House was d...
Retiring Pope Half-Heartedly Suggests Grabbing Lunch Sometime With GodRetiring Pope Half-Heartedly Suggests Grabbing Lunch Sometime With GodA report finds Chinese third-graders are falling behind U.S. high school students in math and science, a nostalgic warden has seen 3 generations of a family ...
Netflix Checks If Area Man Okay After Watching Sons Of Anarchy Season In Single SittingNetflix Checks If Area Man Okay After Watching Sons Of Anarchy Season In Single SittingFor Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Like The Onion on Facebook: http://www.fb.com/theoni...
Nostalgic Warden Has Seen 3 Generations Of Family Come Through PrisonNostalgic Warden Has Seen 3 Generations Of Family Come Through PrisonCasting a sentimental eye over his long career at the California Institution for Men, prison warden Kenneth Luger, 65, told reporters Thursday he will always...
Winter Storm Rocky Expected To Hit Kevin Hodges Of Joliet, IL Hardest After The Year Hes HadWinter Storm Rocky Expected To Hit Kevin Hodges Of Joliet, IL Hardest After The Year Hes HadMeteorologists say the blizzard pummeling the Midwest is expected to devastate Illinois resident Kevin Hodges given everything he's been going through lately...
Amazing Dance Prodigy Hopes New Ballet Will Inspire Her Dad To Notice Her For OnceAmazing Dance Prodigy Hopes New Ballet Will Inspire Her Dad To Notice Her For OnceFor A Brand New Episode Of Today Now: http://onion.com/11omwpj Jim and Tracy meet the incredible ballet prodigy who choreographed an entire desperate plea fo...
God Airs History Of Workplace Tension With Pope Benedict XVIGod Airs History Of Workplace Tension With Pope Benedict XVIThe Divine Creator of All Things addressed a throng of dedicated fans on his troubled working relationship with the former Pope. For Breaking News: http://ww...
Transportation Secretary LaHood Hoarding Traffic Cones, Stop Signs In Advance Of Looming SequesterTransportation Secretary LaHood Hoarding Traffic Cones, Stop Signs In Advance Of Looming SequesterTransportation Secretary Ray LaHood is being proactive in the face of his department's potential budget cuts by scouring the country for road signs, traffic ...